So you know that God has challenged me to be more like George Mueller and not necessarily share when there is a financial need.  You know God has challenged me to walk on the water with Him.  You also know I have been struggling in it, just not sure if I could really not share my financial needs.  One day last week, I was going through my tuk tuk expense calendar and adding everything up.  I discovered that while I have budgeted $100, the actual cost has been closer to $150 each month 😦  I was amazed to see the numbers added up and in print, and wondered how I have been able to keep going.  The numbers just don’t add up; it doesn’t make sense, but each month it has worked.  I knew my money was once again getting low, BUT, I knew the 25th was coming.

See, each month, on the 25th, I get my deposit from the CMA, from all those who partner with me, through them.  Usually, it is that deposit that pays my rent, utilities and internet and then have a little left over to apply toward food, tuk tuk, or phone card.  The 25th was Thursday, but did not get to check my account til Friday night.  In that deposit, I was expecting it to be enough to cover those things needed for the first and low and behold, it was a deposit of under $200.  OK, so I know I did not respond well; it sort of knocked the breathe out of me and I broke into tears and cried myself to sleep that night.  It had already been a REALLY HARD week, and then I open my account to see not even enough to pay rent…I had no clue where the money was going to come from. So from the 26th on, I have been stressing about money.  And yes, I know, in my head, that God promises to provide, but I really struggled!  I mean, how in the world was I going to come up with the money to pay for my three “big” bills?!?  I had gone to visit the school, where the preschool position is, and basically, the job is mine for the taking.  But, as I have prayed through this, I have had no peace at all about accepting, so…Sunday, I sent an e-mail to the principal and told him that I had to decline the job.  It terrified me to do so.  I mean, here I am with rent coming due and not enough in my accounts to cover it.  Monday, Tuesday Wednesday…all days in which I wondered how I was going to pay my rent and utilities today…Thursday.  Actually, had to pay interent on Tuesday and wondered, “Do I pay with my credit card, or with the little bit of cash I have?!?!”.  A friend challenged me to pay it with cash and to keep trusting.  I paid with cash…  Another friend reminded me that God ALWAYS comes through, right on time and never a minute sooner 🙂  Wednesday, I knew it was too late for anyone in the States to even send through paypal for me to get in time to pay rent today, the first.  So, as I am still thinking how in the world is this going to happen, I am thinking of all the things I might possibly be able to do, but have no clue…  Then, I come home from school and my crown (on my tooth) falls out 😦  ugh…just one more thing that I don’t have money for 😦  I told my friend, the one who every day comes into school all peppy asking, “So had God provided yet?!”, that I felt like I was drowning and I just couldn’t seem to reach Jesus’ hand as He was reaching out for me.  Oh my goodness, the last couple of weeks have been hard!

BUT THEN…I get home from running errands with her, and before I left for the dentist, I checked my e-mail…you know where I am going, don’t you?!?!  I had an e-mail from someone offering me a lump sum of money (but not an amount) to help cover my greatest need right at the moment.  Oh, my goodness, did the tears roll.  Even as I write, I am awed at our great Provider!  When I actually received the money, it was more than enough to cover the rent, so I got home from school and paid my rent and utilities and have a bit of money left over!  God truly does work above and beyond anything we can ever imagine!!  He has provided in a way that I NEVER would have thought.  This has been huge for me, and actually huge for my one friend, too.  When I told her, she shared that every day she just wanted to hand me money, but kept sensing God telling her “NO”, it was His job to provide for me, not hers…(ok, so not in those exact words, but still…).

OH, and the dentist…yep, I went and got things taken care of.  Thankful to have one friend to come and watch the girls for me and another to actually go with me…hehe 🙂  Glad she was with me, too, since I was $20 short and she was able to cover me.  Today, I have it to pay her back…God is so great!  It has definitely been a test of my faith…  It has been a challenge to trust Him to provide, but He did provide, right on time and not a minute before 🙂  He promised to meet and supply all our needs…maybe next time I will not stress quite so much 🙂

Serving our Provider,